Who Her Is
by GRACE5
Summary: Tony discusses why he wanted to overcome his fear. Tiva. Post Engagement II


"So..." Chaplain Burke started as they drove back towards the Naval Base.

"So...what?" Tony asked not taking his eyes off the road.

"Did you concur your fear?"

"I guess," Tony said his head slightly bobbing as he thought over the events of the previous hour. "Yeah."

"It wasn't on your bucket list." She added and Tony gave her a brief glance.

"It needed to be done in order to cross something off the list." Tony responded hoping to end the conversation.

"Your list had nothing about kids." She said and pulled it from her pocket, earning a surprised look from Tony. "McGee gave me a copy, and he gave another to Ziva."

"Well, McProbie is gonna have a McProblem when I see him." Tony growled.

"Where does it say anything about kids?" she asked with her eyes scanning the list. Tony remained silent and continued to drive. "You can trust me, Tony, I'm not going to tell any one. It's part of my job, remember?"

"I think it was number 19?" Tony sighed rubbing his forehead.

"Discuss Paris?" she asked confused and Tony's eyes quickly snapped to her.

"Then, ugh, no. Not that one." He tried to recover. "The one about getting and passing on Gibbs' recipe for steak."

"17."

"Yeah, I'm not going to just pass that around to everyone." Tony laughed.

"Your son." the Chaplain nodded with a smile.

"Or daughter." Tony added. "No difference."

"You were particularly fond that little girl with the red paint today." Burke smiled remembering how Tony had warmed up and sat down to paint with her. "And she was particularly fond of you."

"Why now?"

"Why now what?"

"Why the bucket list? Why start overcoming your fears now?" She elaborated. "Why want kids if you're so afraid of them?"

"I'm not afraid of kids." Tony deflected. "It's babies that unnerve me a little."

"Unnerve you?" She laughed. "Tony, you were shaking."

"Look at that," Tony beamed. "We're here."

"Tony." Chaplain Burke tried again. "Seriously, why?"

"Why are you so interested?" Tony asked just as seriously.

"I'm curious as to whether 3,17,19, and 26 have anything to do with each other."

"What was 3?"

"Discover the meaning of life." she answered not looking at the list. "Do you want me to refresh your memory on 26?"

"No, I know 26."

"So, why?"

"I'm getting older and I have nothing to show for my life." Tony started as they both got out of the car. "I don't want to regret not doing things. I _want_ to settle down and get married and have kids, even it scares me."

"I hear it's different when they're yours."

"I don't care about them being mine as much as I care about them being hers." Tony said serious and waited for Burke to keep questioning him.

"Her, from number 26?" she smiled as she folded the paper and put it back in her pocket and Tony nodded as he looked over the hood of the car at her. "What was your bargain?"

"If he gave her back to me, I'd try a be a better man, for a DiNozzo." Tony answered and let the silence linger for a bit. "Anything else you want to know?" He grinned, obviously trying to joke.

"Why haven't you told her yet?"

"She's not mine to tell."

"She could be yours, if you just tell her."

"Do you even know who she is?" Tony laughed as he started to walk towards the building and the Chaplain quickly caught up with him.

"Ziva." Burke laughed. "Everyone knows that." Tony glared at her as they both showed their badges for entrance into the building.

"Everyone knows what?" Ziva asked as she appeared behind them waiting for the elevator.

"What are you doing here?" Tony yelped as he whipped around with a horrified look.

"I work here." Ziva answered completely confused as she looked to Burke for an answer to her partner's bizarre behavior but the woman just shrugged with a smile.

"Shouldn't you be up in the squad room?" He asked trying to relax knowing she couldn't have heard anything.

"I went to get lunch." Ziva answered as they stepped on the elevator. "What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing, I'm fine." Tony tried and Ziva just continued looking at him confused.

The short elevator ride remained silent until the bing announced their arrival on the desired floor.

"I have a meeting with Vance." Chaplain Burke smiled. "I'm sure I'll see you around."

"Bye, it was nice meeting you." Ziva smiled and Tony nodded.

"Yeah, nice meeting you." Tony repeated with a genuine smile.

"Tony?" Ziva asked as looked at the tiny red hand prints on the back of his pants with concern. "What did you do on your lunch break?"

"Why?" He asked walking towards his desk and throwing a weird look over his shoulder.

"Because they are very tiny hand prints."

"I helped out at the daycare at the church." He answered and waited for her to laugh.

"That is very nice of you." She smiled. "I am surprised you let a child near your clothes with paint."

"Well she kinda surprised me."

"Why is that?" Ziva asked. She was beyond curious about Tony's time with the children and wished she could've seen him interact with them, particularly the little girl that ruined his designer suit.

"_Because she looked like you." _He wanted to say but choose to gaze her with a shy smile.

"Daaaaaddy, you're not wistenin'." A tiny voice pouted next to him pulling him out of the flashback.

"I'm sorry, Thea." Tony smiled as he looked down at the little girl with big brown eyes who was curled into his side and stealing most of his blanket. "What were you saying?"

"You pwomise you'll wisten?" she asked as she maneuvered her little body so it was laying on top of him with her chin resting on his chest so she was looking up at him. Her eyes were big and brown just like her mother's but accented by his long curly eyelashes and her dark curly hair was particularly wild today.

"I promise." Tony said trying not to smile at the adorable pout on her face. He knew it would only make her mad, the same way it made her mother mad.

"I want a polar bear." Thea said seriously as she waited for his response. She folded her hands under her chin and continued to watch him.

"Princess, you know I can't get you a polar bear." He said gently and stroked her cheek. Thea sighed dramatically and dropped her father's gaze.

"You said you'd do anythin'." She tried and snuggled into him.

"Thea DiNozzo." Tony said as he tickled her sides and she erupted in giggles as she squirmed away from him. "I would _do_ anything for you, anything. But I _can't _give you an endangered species as a pet. The government won't let me and I don't think your mommy would like it very much."

"She used to not like you." Thea grinned and patted her father's cheek.

"Who told you that?" Tony asked horrified as he sat up in the bed and looked down at her and she hid under the covers.

"Gampa." Thea giggled as Tony removed the covers from her and scooped her into his arms.

"Ziva!" Tony called as he got off the bed with his daughter still laughing his arms. "Ziva!"

"What is it, Tony?" Ziva asked as she appeared from the nursery with a grumpy little boy in her arms. "I almost had him asleep."

"Gibbs told Thea you used to not like me." Tony pouted and Ziva laughed.

"So?" She asked and continued to rock the youngest DiNozzo. "You were not my biggest coach in the beginning either."

"The term is fan, not coach, sweetcheeks." Tony laughed and pressed a kiss to his wife's forehead.

"Daddy?" Thea asked bored with her parent's exchange.

"Yeah?" Tony asked as he stroked his son's fine hair.

"Can I have a polar bear yet?"

"No." Tony laughed. "But I'll get you a cookie."

"Tony!" Ziva scolded as she watched her husband walk off towards the kitchen with their daughter.


End file.
